It's like wheaties... except you can't drive afterwards.

Br. Mike: We have alcohol in the closet.

Me: ... I think I'll just have breakfast.

Br. Mike: Suit yourself, brother.

He later explained how he had replenished the scotch normally kept in the closet.

Stranger Danger

A co-worker was telling me a story about his childhood and a teacher he had.

CW: She had pictures of Jesus... now that I think about it... she had pictures of Jesus but they were the ones where he's kind of... (looks around and whispers) sexy... like hot!

Today we had a stranger danger class. I realized during the section where the presenter spoke of strangers tampering with food that I had forgotten some items I had picked up at the store and left them in the fridge. What items you ask? Apples and razor blades.