Reconsider procreation

Some of the conversations and statements from the after school program/tutoring.

Kid- "Are you trying to grow a mustache?"

Me- "No."

Kid- "When you don't shave you look like you are trying to grow a mustache."

"You look bad. You should shave."

"Why do you wear so many blue shirts?"

"Your music in really bad."

Kid- "Sitting is boring."

Me- "Read a book."

Kid- "Reading a book is only less boring."

Kid- "I threw the pencil. Not her."

Me- "So when you were sitting three feet away and I saw her throw the pencil- that was you?"

Kid- "... yes?"

Kid- "Are you wearing the same pants that you wore yesterday."

Me- "Yes. They are jeans."

Kid- "You should change your pants more."

"She cried because of you. She's going to hate you forever."

"Do you even know how to do math?"

Me- "You added all these problems. The directions say to subtract."

Kid- "BUT I DON'T WANT TO SUBTRACT!"

Me- "You didn't listen so you are going to have to sit out for 5 minutes."

Kid- "I thought you said 3?"

Me- "No. Five minutes."

Kid- "Okay. I'm going to count. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, (minutes pass) 98, 99, 100. How many minutes has it been."

Me- "It has been two minutes."

Kid- "Oh... 1, 2, 3..."

"You look bad is glasses."

"You have four eyes."

"Wear contacts. You'll look better."

"You look weird without glasses. You should wear your glasses."